The Diaries
by Ms.Malfoy
Summary: NEW SUMMARY: a look at the lives of D, H, H, R, LM!! their thoughts about the War....please R/R or else i won't post the last sections! they're already written!
1. Default Chapter

The Diaries Part one-Draco  
  
I don't think it was a big surprise to anyone when Voldemort gained control of the wizarding world. He had been warning us a long time, through the Death Eaters. They had spoke in hushed tones to the selected few about his arrival and it got around, so no one was in total shock when the Ministry of Magic fell.  
There's not much to do anymore. Not many people around. There's nowhere to go. All the schools fell to his wrath, all the courses went to the dark arts, and few even attended, and since my class was fresh out of Hogwarts when Voldemort had control, we all had nowhere to run, nowhere to go but down.  
Harry and Hermione married shortly after the war was over. Not because they loved each other, but because they had nothing left to hold onto. Ron, his father, Fred and George all perished in the fire that took down Hogwarts. The Death Eaters had killed the Grangers, the Durselys were all in an institution, and Potter's parents were long gone.  
The war took so many people. There was fighting in all the schools and Diagon Alley was unbearable. Of course, there could be no fighting on Muggle streets, though people did try. There were no aftereffects of the war, no actions taken. The Dark Side was no longer in power, and no one could get the Ministry back on its feet. Percy, who was embedded deep inside the Ministry, as he had risen in importance throughout the better years, tried his hardest to get the wizarding world back on its feet, but his grief and everyone's ill spirits made it unbearable.  
There were few left from my class. Most of the people I knew well died fighting for the Dark Lord. Most of the people anyone knew died fighting for someone. *************************************************************  
As I said before, there's no place to go anymore. I can't return to my home. My father died there, in my bedroom, during the last battle where my mother and I almost died as well. My mother would not allow anyone to move my father's body, and I doubt she's even left the room where he died. I tried walking on the grounds once, but kept finding things that reminded me of the consequences of dark magic, and fled.  
I saw Harry and Hermione once, as they too were trying to go through Diagon Alley to pick up the pieces of their past. All childhood bickering long forgotten and all the hostility had fallen away with the war and all. They invited me to pay a visit to their home in London, but I declined. I think they knew why.  
My father was one of the main causes of the war and death and suffering. He urged Voldemort to keep going, keep killing, to gain control. Had my father not been so stubborn, the war may not have happened.  
He almost killed me.  
I was never the one he wanted. I had an older brother, but my father killed him as well, for as he got older, his powers were more powerful than my fathers, and my brother became a threat to him. That's all I know. They never even told me his name.  
It wouldn't have surprised me if my father chose to kill me to save The Dark Lord. He abused me often as a child, told me to suck it up and be cold, not to let anyone in, because then I would forget the real mission: domination.  
But I never wanted to dominate. I just wanted to live. Live a life normally, or as normal as I could with my fathers reputation sewn onto my last name. Maybe that's what I'll do. Live normally. Fathers dead, mother's insane, got no friends, no lover to blame, might as well go down..  
  
Bones sinking like stones All that we fought for Homes, places we've grown, All of us are done for  
  
We live in a beautiful world Yea we do, yea we do, We live in a beautiful world Yea we do, yea we do.  
  
Bones sinking like stones All that we fought for Homes, places we've grown All of us are done for  
  
We live in a beautiful world Yea we do, yea we do, We live in a beautiful world Yea we do, yea we do.  
  
Oh, all that I know There's nothing here to run for Cause yea, everybody here Has got somebody to lean on.  
  
Lyrics from "Don't Panic" by Coldplay. What do ya think?? 


	2. Part two

Part two- Lucius  
  
I don't think I ever wanted to join Voldemort and his quest for power. I was forced into it by my father and took a liking to it, so I too tried to force my son into the Dark World, but he refused. I think I know why. It's a dark cold world down there. No one to love you, even the one you married. I tried once to tell Draco about our life, but I don't think he understands yet, the importance of domination. I wake to find no peace of mind I said "how do you live as a fugitive?" Down here where I cannot see so clear I said "what do I know Show me the right way to go"  
My wife always thought I was pushing on him too much when he was young. I practiced curses on him, those I had the counter curse for, at least. I wanted him to be ready to shut people out, to be cold and be able to feel pain. It's my job. And spies came out of the water And you're feeling so bad because you know And the spies hide out in every corner And you can't touch them no, Cause they're all spies  
Once, I took him into the dungeons when he was about five or six. We had all the Death Eaters down there, to introduce and initiate him. But he was scared down there, it was cold and dark, so we arranged for it to occur, secretly, in the Three Broomsticks. I wake to see that no one is free We are fugitives Look at the way we live Down here I cannot sleep from fear I said "which way do I turn? Oh I forget everything I learned"  
I thought that maybe in a sunnier place he would know and understand what I was trying to do. We had the Death Eaters in disguises, doing their jobs. A Death Eater, when there's no dark activity, is to spy. Make sure that no one is hinting about something happening; make sure no one has a clue, that's our job. I pointed the men out to Draco and told them that people who work with Father are spies, to protect us all. I thought he understood it well. And spies came out of the water And you're feeling so bad because you know That the spies hide out in every corner And you can't touch them, no, Cause they're all spies  
We went into hiding often. I couldn't stay too long at my home or any one spot, because the Ministry was always at my heels. Sometimes I took my family, other times, the urgency to leave was enormous and I left them to fend for themselves. Both denied anything. I don't regret leaving them there. I always had them in my best interests, where they would be safest. It was for their own safety. And if we don't hide here They're gonna find us And if we don't hide out They're gonna catch us where we sleep And if we don't hide here They're gonna find us...  
I told Draco I had to hide, to stay away from the bad people who wanted to hurt me. At such a young, tender, innocent age, he believed me, but when he found out the truth, he was furious. I told him he was better than other people because he had all magical blood; it hadn't been dirtied by Muggles. He believed that, too. While he was at Hogwarts, he believed anything. He had to, because he knew what I could do to him. *************************************************************  
Now, at Draco's age of 17, he understands and he knows why, but he has been hardened. He speaks cold to everyone now, even his mother, who used to be the only person who could get to him. You can't read his face anymore. He shows no emotions, though his eyes change often to try and conceal his meaning. Spies came out of the water And you're feeling so good because you know That those spies hide out in every corner But they can't touch you, no, Cuz they're just spies.  
I never thought I would die in my son's bedroom. Its kind of ironic. I'm being killed by the one person I was trying to protect, The Dark Lord, and Draco shows no mercy. He is just staring at me, watching as my life is sucked out of my body, my blood stopping, my heart slowing. Maybe he thinks I'm getting what I deserve. Who knows, maybe I am. Maybe death won't be so bad. It can't be any worse than staying here.  
  
Lyrics from "Spies" by Coldplay 


	3. part three

Part three-Ron  
Although people may think so, being a best friend to the boy who lived has not been that great. Sure, he's been great to talk to when I needed cheering up, but there was something in the middle of us getting closer. The fact of who he was, the fact he was Harry Potter, and I was just Ron Weasley. So I look in your direction But you pay me no attention, do you? I know you don't listen to me 'Cos you say you see straight through me, don't you?  
Hermione used to tell me this all the time. She said that he can't help who he is or his past, and that he probably wants to trade places with me more than I do with him. But she doesn't know what its like. Neither of them does. And on and on From the moment I wake, to the moment I sleep I'll be there by your side; just you try and stop me  
  
I'll be waiting in line, just to see if you care  
  
They don't know that even though I'm the funny sidekick, one there just for comic relief, that I have feelings and wants and needs. No one knows what they are. Sometimes even I don't know what they are.  
I haven't been myself for too long. Oh. Did you want me to change? Well I changed for good And I want you to know that you'll always get your way I wanted to say.  
I have to wonder now, as we get older and age, if we three will ever be anything, if there are any circumstances available where we can all be together. And then I stop myself and ask the silence around me if it should be us three I'm worrying about. Maybe my future is bigger than they are. Harry is famous for his past, maybe I'll be known for what I've yet to accomplish. I still have so much time left. Don't you shiver Shiver Sing it loud and clear I'll always be waiting for you ********************************************************* So you know how much I need ya But you never even see me, do you? And is this my final chance of getting you  
Now, I can't even believe I was so naïve. As we got older, nothing changed. Old rivalries still haunted us, I was still poor Harry still famous, and Hermione was.  
Hermione was more. I loved that girl, but she deserved so much more than what I could give her. I told her so, and she cried but she knew it was true. Maybe if I die fighting this war, she'll realize what she lost. And on and on From the moment I wake, to the moment I sleep I'll be there by your side; just you try and stop me I'll be waiting in line, just to see if you care  
I didn't want to be here. Wrong place, wrong time. My father, brothers and I were meeting with Dumbledore (I don't think that man can age) when the Dark Mark appeared. WE heard the Unforgivables being shouted throughout the school, heard Aveda a few times, too. And before we could even get out, it was on fire. No Muggle would have noticed anything. But we all did. We watched as Hogwarts burned down to the ground.  
And I burned with it. Oh. Did you want me to change? Well I changed for good And I want you to know that you'll always get your way I wanted to say.  
It was probably for the better. I wasn't making things any better. Hermione should find a better person to be with. Harry, he should find a better companion, someone more worthy of standing beside him. I just want them to know one thing. Don't you shiver Don't you shiver Sing it loud and clear I'll always be waiting for you  
I never meant for this to happen. Yeah I'll always be waiting for you Yeah I'll always be waiting for you Yeah I'll always be waiting for you, for you I will always be waiting.  
I was always waiting for them to come around, but they never did. It's my fault, and I fully accept that. And it's you I see but you don't see me And it's you I hear so loud and so clear I sing it loud and clear And I'll always be waiting for you  
But, when you live a life like mine for so long, you don't have many options left. So I look in your direction But you pay me no attention And you know how much I need you But you never even see me  
And can you honestly say that after living like this that you wouldn't throw yourself into the flames, too?  
  
Lyrics from "Shiver" by Coldplay 


	4. part four

Part 4- Hermione  
  
How long have I been in this storm? So overwhelmed by the oceans shapeless form Waters getting harder to tread With these waves crashing over my head  
  
I honestly can't say that Hogwarts was all bad. Aside from the put- downs and the evil lurking, it was a magical place, no pun intended. I know I'm only in my 5th year, but I just have this feeling that something is going to happen.  
It's probably because that's what I'm used to. Growing up differently than my friends, in a whole other world they would never understand. And Harry and Ron, try as they might, never managed to make any of it much easier. I wasn't such of a bookworm at normal school. I was popular and fun. I kind of shifted as I aged. It was just easier to hide in the shadows. If I could just see you Everything would be alright If I could see you This darkness would turn to light  
I often pined for my old life while I was in school. I wanted to share the spotlight with Harry. I didn't want to be the girl who figured everything out and took no credit. I wanted to fight the battle from the inside.  
Many people might call me crazy for wanting such a thing, but if they got inside my head they would know. I just wanted to be different instead of living in my bubble of books and homework. It got so tiring. I wanted to be like the other Gryffindors, happy and smiling and popular. On occasion, I even wanted to see life as Draco, to be cold and harsh and for people to be expecting lewd comments. No one takes mine seriously.  
I wish I could turn back time, but I can't; things are set in stone, but there is still that itching in the back of my head that says to me "It won't be the same for long" and I trust it. Hopefully change will come.  
Hopefully it will come soon. ************************************************************* And I will walk on water And you will catch me if I fall And I will get lost into your eyes And everything will be alright And everything will be alright  
  
I know you didn't bring me out here to drown So why am I ten feet under and upside down? Barely surviving has become my purpose Cuz I'm so used to living underneath the surface  
When I said I wanted change to come, I didn't want the kind we got. I was so stupid in my earlier years, Voldemort being defeated for a while and all was well. When the prophets warned us of his coming back, I was delved deeper into my world of books. No one, besides Harry, and more affectionately Ron, noticed me.  
Ron was so wonderful during our last year of innocence. He finally admitted he fancied me, but he said I deserved better. It may have seemed selfish, but I knew it, too. If I could just see you Everything would be alright If I see you This darkness would turn to light  
Now, I regret not appreciating him. As the war got worse, he became more pulled back, especially after Harry said he would stay out of the war. I think Ron was trying to prove himself to be more than what he was. I can't blame him, but he never knew how I felt about him too. And no one ever will. And I will walk on water And you will catch me if I fall And I will get lost into your eyes And everything will be alright And everything will be alright  
After I heard that Ron had died, I immediately regretted ever letting him go. Harry told me not to look back and be strong. I already told him that I was strong. I'm not weak, I can't be. No one can be weak and survive times like this.  
Not long after, Harry asked me to marry him. I think I know why. We didn't really have anything left to hold onto but each other. I accepted, and we were married in the spring of the year Voldemort finally fell. Now, we must gather strength from each other to put our lives back into a solid piece. And I walk on water You will catch me if I fall And I will get lost into your eyes And everything will be alright And everything will be alright  
He tells me often that everything is going to be ok. I have to believe him. What else can I believe in? 


End file.
